True story #1
[End of the hour, kids are packing up–the next day is Reading for Enjoyment in my high school junior English class.]
Me: If you guys want to look at my book cart and check out a book for tomorrow, now’s a good time.
Girl: Do you have 50 Shades of Gray?
Me: (calmly) Noooooo, but even if I did have it, you know you couldn’t check it out, right?
Girl: Because of the content? (her nose scrunched up and head tilted)
Me: Yeppers.
OF COURSE BECAUSE OF THE CONTENT, silly girl. What in heaven’s name was she even thinking?! Now. Did I read racy books in high school? Absolutely. But would I ever have even considered asking a teacher to borrow one? Nah-uh. Part of the thrill is that (we think!) the adults don’t know that we’ve pulled one over on ’em.
True story #2
[I am dog-tired. It’s Friday, the dead of winter, I haven’t slept well in ages, and it was the first week of the new semester. I greet my students at the door each hour, so I’m standing in the hall right outside my room. It’s 10 AM.]
Me: Good morning, Katy!
Katy: Hi, Ms. L.
[She continues on into the room, I greet another couple students, and Katy walks back out to the hall with a frown on her face.]
Katy: Are you okay? You look sad.
Me: I do?! No, honey, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.
I fret a bit during the hour, thinking I’d better take a couple naps this weekend. At lunch, I stop at the rest room first thing and check out the mirror. Man, I do look tired! And … well, rather plain come to think of it … I bend closer to the mirror. Unbelievable. I somehow neglected mascara and eye liner this morning. How did that even happen?! Even on a day I go makeupless, nine times out of ten I still use mascara. At 5:45 AM I must have started my makeup, went to let a dog back in, and just la-di-dahed back to my coffee and lunch packing. Maybe I do need those naps, after all.
Or Spring would be nice, too.
I remember reading Valley of the Dolls in high school! But I didn’t get it from the teacher. Silly me, I did do a book report on it though. Hindsight is scary.
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So what did your teacher say?!
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